The Art of Finishing School: Good Manners for the Modern Young Lady and Gentleman
As Published in the Autumn of 1986
In an age of big hair, designer labels, flashy automobiles, and exciting new technology, one might easily forget that true class has very little to do with the size of one’s wardrobe or the horsepower beneath one’s bonnet. Proper etiquette, dear reader, remains the hallmark of a polished individual, and no amount of money can purchase the good breeding that comes from knowing how to conduct oneself in respectable company.
The Importance of First Impressions
A finishing school teaches far more than which fork to use at dinner. It instills confidence, poise, and an appreciation for the feelings of others. When entering a room, one should stand tall, offer a pleasant smile, and greet acquaintances with warmth and sincerity. A firm handshake is appropriate for formal introductions, while a gracious acknowledgment will suffice when encountering someone across a crowded reception.
Remember, it is not necessary to be the loudest person at a party to be remembered. Indeed, the most impressive individual is often the one who listens attentively while everyone else competes for the spotlight.
Table Manners and Formal Dining
At the dinner table, elbows should remain off the table during the meal, napkins belong neatly upon the lap, and chewing with one’s mouth open is positively unacceptable. The general rule regarding cutlery is simple: begin with the utensils farthest from your plate and work inward as each course arrives.
One should never criticize the meal prepared by a host, even if the vegetables have been cooked beyond recognition. A sincere compliment and a gracious disposition are worth considerably more than a display of culinary expertise.
Conversation and Social Grace
A well-bred person avoids discussing personal finances, embarrassing medical complaints, or controversial subjects in mixed company unless the occasion specifically calls for such discussion. Gossip may provide temporary entertainment, but discretion builds lasting friendships.
Telephone etiquette is equally important in these modern times. Whether using a telephone at home or making arrangements from a public telephone booth, speak clearly, identify yourself politely, and avoid monopolizing the line. Your friends may be expecting important calls!
Dress, Deportment, and Personal Pride
Fashion changes with every season, from shoulder pads to pastel blazers, yet cleanliness, neatness, and appropriate attire never go out of style. One should dress according to the occasion, maintain good posture, and remember that personal grooming reflects respect for both oneself and others.
Ultimately, the finest finishing school lesson is this: courtesy is never old-fashioned. In 1986, as in every generation, genuine elegance begins with kindness, self-control, and consideration for one’s fellow human beings. After all, style may turn heads, but good manners leave a lasting impression.